My Testimony

I never shared my whole testimony because of bad experiences in churches where I have been falsely accused and very judged. I will try to make this as short as I can.

I was born with Bipolarity and ADHD, when I was 4 years old the genalized anxiety appeared. At 4 years old also happened the first time that my brother hit me, well tried to hit me, cause I was leaning on a door and his fist came I had the reflex to move my head and his fist went all all the way through the door. My brother was not a big violent person, he hurt me yes, terrorized me yes, but he never hit me in the face or sent me to the hospital and managed to be able to keep  his violence towards me unknown to my mom. That went on until I was 16 years old

My earthy father is a sociopath manipulator who started to verbally abuse me every time we were alone in his car, telling me over and over again that my mother was frigid, that she didn’t want to wash his clothes, that she didn’t love me, she only loved my sister and my brother, etc. I never got the feeling he loved me like his daughter, he was physically attracted to me, especially when I hit my teenage years and the whole time I was living with my parents. Of course those things he was saying we’re all lies. This went on from 3 to 17 years old when I finally had enough of him and left my parents house.

At 4 years old I knew something was not alright with my brain therefore I asked them repeatedly to bring me to a doctor but my mom was too proud and said bringing me to a doctor would follow me all my life, in other words, she didn’t want to tarnish the image of the family, my father said yes but never brought me. In any case back then the doctors didn’t know about Bipolarity, and even now doctors are very hesitant to diagnose a child with Bipolarity. It never happens unless the child has a total break from reality in a manic phase. At 4 years old I started to wanted to die, and the suicidal thoughts never left me until I gave my life to Jesus.

In high school I was so messed up from the sickness and abuse I started to get involved in witchcraft. I thought it was white magic therefore it wasn’t bad but now I know that all kinds witchcraft comes from demons. I thought doing this would fill the whole in my soul but it so didn’t! I did this until I turned 15 years old then started to hang out with a few Haitian girls who were all born again in Christ.  There was one of them who was terrified of me (because of what I did) but every time she would tell her aunt how afraid she was of me her aunt would always respond “Don’t stop hanging out with her, the Lord Jesus wants her”. One day I was sitting with her in the bus and I saw she was reading a book and I suddenly got really attracted to the cover image of the book so I asked her if I could borrow it. She gave it to me right away: it was the book of Rebecca Brown called He Came To Set The Captives free. It was about Rebecca rescuing women from withcaft cults and satanic clubs. I the second page I closed the book and repented of my sins right then and there. Next Sunday I attended their church.

Although I didn’t get medicated until I was twenty something and my life was total hell, I hung on to God with everything I had, every day. I was literally asking Him to help me every single minute and He did.  And He kept saying to me: This is for My glory. No matter what I went through after that I had found Everything I needed. I found Jesus. He is the only thing that can fill the whole in every person. He is my Everything. Every bad thing that ever happened to me He made it work out for my good because I love Him.

The second most important thing is I forgave everyone who has ever hurt me. This is crucial because if we do not forgive, even our abusers, God will not answer our prayer and our growth in Christ will never happen. It is our job to forgive and it is God ‘s job to take vengeance. Sometimes it was not easy to forgive some people but I just told God “I make the decision to forgive that person. Now please make it become a reality in my mind and in my heart” and He did. He healed me of all my psychological traumas, He healed me of many physical sicknesses.  I am a living proof of it doesn’t matter how badly you messed up in your life, if you give your life to Jesus, repent and truly follow Him, You will be transformed, healed and made whole! Our God is Awesome!!!!

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